APRIL 22,1997
Table of Contents
I. Introduction
II. Making a living in America
A. Mrs. Kim's Story
B. "Jay Cho's" Story
III. Racism
A. Liquor store owners
B. Other racial experiences
IV. Stereotypes and Discrimination
A. Dealing with stereotypes
B. Within the Korean community
1) Discriminating the backgrounds
2) Respecting elders
V. Culture Gaps
A. Representing the Korean community
B. Communicating differences
C. Growing up in America
D. Education
VI. Conclusion
After the United States eliminated immigration laws that had discriminated Asian immigrants for years, thousands of Korean immigrants entered the United States. Now there are more than 100,000 Korean Americans and Koreans living in Los Angeles. Even after the laws against Asians diminished, many came to America still facing difficult obstacles. The first generation immigrants are the ones that confront the daily hardships of living in an unfamiliar territory. They come here with barely any knowledge of the English language and the American culture. However, their determination of a better life for themselves and their children, still brings them to America. Some have become successful, and others have discovered the disappointed dreams of finding a better life. Yet, both also discover financial downfalls, racism, and cultural differences with the American culture.
Korean immigrants who have children, whether they were born in Korea or America, also go through experiences of racism and witnessing their family's struggle to financially succeed. Although, these one-point-five (1.5) generation (kids born in Korea, but come to America mainly for the education) or second (2nd) generation (U.S. born children of the immigrants) off-springs have experiences that differ from their own parents. The younger generation choose to be more Korean or American, and sometimes both. Their parents come to America with complete self-sacrifice and a purpose, whereas the children are more laid back and less goal-oriented. The cultural differences cause them to be less aware of their parent's sacrifices. The children go through a phase of questioning why their parents cannot be more like other white kids' parents -- more liberal and less strict. Many children also go through pressures of trying to live up to their parent's high expectations. The children's futures are the results of their parent's decision in coming to America.
While many Koreans living in America continue to struggle to succeed financially and socially, they also discover their cultural and communication differences with the American culture and with the other Korean generations in their community.
I have interviewed twenty-five Koreans for my paper from three different generations. Many of the questions dealt with their experiences living in America, how they viewed their parents, children, and other Korean people. Some of their comments will be found throughout the paper. Information from books and newspaper articles on these related topics and other needed information, have also been included along with some of my personal experiences as a 2nd generation Korean.
The purpose of this paper is to hopefully have other cultures be more aware of the Korean community. The Korean people are not well known in the Los Angeles community, even if they take a big chunk of the population. The Koreans are a group of individuals who have common goals as the rest of the people living in America, such as wanting a successful career and having a family. The Koreans basically go through similar struggles as any other minority group. However, some of the Korean customs or ways may be different compared to other customs.
The Korean immigrants are also looked upon as unusual people because they are imperfectly acquainted with English or the American culture. I am not only speaking of the other races, but the younger Korean American generations, like myself. Both groups should at least know what situations most Korean immigrants face everyday living in another country other than their homeland. Because their customs were brought from Korea it clashes with the American culture, in which causes many misunderstandings and even tension among some people.
Korean immigrants who are the first generation, come to America to seek financial stability. The life they lead is usually with hard work and determination. They can become bery successful doctors, lawyers , and architects. Others become business or merchant owners. Some rarely have any serious financial struggles, whil many actually do.
I interviewed many Koreans which included questions on any struggles and successes with making money. There were many similar stories, but I decided to choose only a couple of them because both explain the struggles and successes of a typical Korean family.
I arrived at Mrs. Kim's house in a secured gated community in Bel Air. It was a big, white house with many plants, flowers, and trees surrounding the house. Inside there appeared to be many expensive furnitures, but I immediately noticed their family portraits. The people living in the house were apparently well off.
Mrs. Kim had an appearance of a confident and proud Korean woman because before she began to explain her story to me in English, she lectured me on how I should know the Korean language. "You're Korean, you should know how to speak it! It's also better for a career. Keep practicing Korean!" I was a bit intimidated by Mrs. Kim because I assumed she was this typical snobby rich person. However, after meeting with her, I discovered that she was actually a down to earth woman, who had the same concerns as any other Korean immigrant.
Mr. and Mrs. Kim decided to leave Korea and move to Brazil, South America.. At the time, it was common for Korean immigrants to move to Brazil to open a business there. The couple lived there for about five or six years with their two sons. They also owned a small clothing shop. During those years, thery were able to develop the skills needed to own a clothing business. Many mistakes were quickly learned.
Along with the other Korean families in Brazil, they moved to America after receiving their green cards. The Kim family arrived with less than a thousand dollars and moved into a small apartment in Van Nuys. Mrs. Kim found worked at a flower shop, working for more than forty hours a week at minimum wage. Mr. Kim unsuccessfully continued to look for a stable job. He had jobs as a janitor and a cook. Those couple of years, they skipped some days without a full meal. Mrs. Kim was mainly concerned for her two sons who did not eat well and could not afford to bring them to a family doctor for a simple check-up. Their clothes were bought, which rarely occured, from any cheap clothing stores. She also remembered those years, when her sons would complain about not having anything special because the other kids at their schools would bring their new toys for show and tell.
Mr. Kim continued to have determination and hopes for a better future. Kae Dong was used among some of their relatives and friends from Brazil. Kae Dong is money where friends or families each pitch in a certain amount of money, so it could be given to the family that needed the money to open a business. This money would add up to a great amount depending how much was given and the amount of people involved with it. Others would receive their turns at the next Kae Dong date. Kae Dong is not an unfamiliar term among the Koreans. It is still used today. Fortunately, Mr. Kim was finally given the Kae Dong money. He used the money that he also had been saving and the Kae Dong money to open a clothing store in downtown Los Angeles. This area is where there are many other competing clothing stores and swapmeets. The clothes are usually sold at a cheaper price. This area is not Rodeo Drive, it's completely opposite. However, these stores can bring in a large amount of salary. Since Mr. and Mrs. Kim already had experience of owning a clothing business, they were confident that the store would be successful. After three more years, they opened up two more clothing stores.
I asked Mrs. Kim how she viewed their wealth, if she had any fears. "Of course, I had fears. I never knew we would come this far. I do prefer this lifestyle,but I can't forget what we went through those earlies years. (She pauses for about five seconds). I having these luxuries, but I want my sons to know how difficult it can be to make a living. We make them fing jobs so they could earn their own money. When they were younger my husband and I spoiled them, but we feel that since they are more older, they should be more independent. My oldest son, Simon, was accepted to Berkely. I was so happy for him, my husband and I bought him this expensive car. With my other son, he parties too much. I worry where he's going in the future. He whines about only having a Jetta, that is the car he drives now, but my husband and I won't think about it, until he's more serious about school. I spoiled him too much because he is the youngest. (She sighs).
Even though Mrs. Kim went through difficult obstacles, but now comes from an upper class family, she still believes hard work is the key to having a successful future in America. My next story is mainly about a son's parents who could not find the same Americacn dream.
"Jay Cho" (name has been changed) is a secong generation Korean American in his late thirtees. He works at the biggest Korean law firm in America. He was nicely dressed on the day of the interview. He also arrived in a Mercedes Benz. He seemed to be doing well. To my suprise, I later found out that he grew up in a family where many financial struggles existed. "I come from a poor family".
"Jay's" father had told him many stories on how arriving in America, was frightening. The father, "Mr. Cho", was apprehensive about what layed ahead in a strange land called America and was constantly homesick. Making money was the major concern among the father and his wife. After the arrival, money grew to be scarce and unavailabe. Luckily, Mr. Cho met a fellow Korean man who owned a swapmeet. The Korean man who was aware of Mr. Cho's bad financial situation offered Mr. Cho to work with him. The wife had also helped out at the swapmeet from time to time and was also paid. Both earned seven dollars an hour. Most of Mrs. Cho's salary went to the family's food and bills. Mr. Cho managed to save most of his salary in the bank. Jay continues to explain that it was difficult growing up in a family that always worried about money. His father was always bitter because the money they had was not enough to pay for most of the bills. The collection agency were always calling, which add more tension in the family. His parent were constantly arguing with each other about the money situation. The mother could not understand why her husband could not pull out some of the saved money in the bank. The father would say it was money to open up a business.
After about six more years of working at the swapmeet, Jay's father manged to open a small electronic shop with the money he had been saving and a small loan given by a Korean bank. Business was only good once in awhile,but it was better thatn the low salary at the swapmeet. Then in 1992, the Los Angeles riots broke out. Looting was occuring in most businesses and merchant stores, including in the same area as "Mr. Cho's" electronic shop. Thousands of dollars wortj of electronic equipment were stolen and never recovered. Apparently, "Mr. Cho" was forced to close the shop. "Jay's" parents finally decided to move back to Korea and the father now works at the Korean Airline.
"Jay" had already graduated from a university, years before the looting incident, so it was easier for his parent to move back to Korea. He tells me, "I am thankful that I grew up in a family where financial problems existed. Weird as that may have sound, it has taught me to be humble and more appreciative of my parents when I look back. I came from such a strugglin working class family, it has made me determined to become a lawyer. I will never regret... I can't, I will never regret my past. I think everyone should go through some major struggle. It somehow makes that person stronger and a better human being."
One of the other common problems that minority groups face is racism. Racism as I see it, will never completely come to end. It is impossible, we are humans who in our nature are capable of committing selfish and hateful deeds. I only judge people depending on who they are, not the color of their skin. There have been certain people I disliked, simply because of their personality and behavior. However, I knew I had no right to use those people to represent the rest of their race because there were others that I came to like that came from the same racial background. I am still learning. I am not saying I am not racist, I know I am not perfect. Sometimes I catch myself wanting to sit in another seat if a dirty looking black man sits next to me. Other times, if a black man who looked clean cut and dressed better, sat next to me, I would not care. If a Korean man who smelled and looked dirty looking sat next to me, I would want to move away. I guess I am a racist for being judgmental on how people take care of themselves. I consider myself anal , I just don't feel like smelling them, and I sub-consciously think that their dirtiness will cling on to me. I am not a racist toward what color skin a person has, honestly, it just depends how they portray themselves. Just because an Ethiopian is vulgar and rude, does not mean the rest of the race were born with these qualities. I think that is the worst type of racism.
That is why it is upsetting how the media and other people greatly stereotype the Koreans , especially the merchant owners, as these rude and greedy, money- loving foreigners. Some Koreans are this way, but why are they representing the rest of the Korean race? Besides, they should get their facts straight before jumping to conclusions. Many seem to think that these owners have an easy life, yet some people do not realize how much hard work goes into owning a business, especially with liquor stores. Although the many liquor store owners were victims of racism, such as the Los Angeles riots of 1992 . Yes, many Korean owners do own liquor stores, but is trying to make a living such a crime? Because there are many Korean owners, they are easy targets for other people's problems.
Liquor store owners rarely get a fair break. They deal with having to keep their stores running and trying to support their families. They are in the kind of environment where the crime rate is usually high and where many black and Hispanic people live. Many of these owners have encountered customers who are black and Hispanic people stealing in their store before. "Almost all the shoplifters were black and Mexican, it's because the stores are located in mostly black and Mexican communities," says a liquor store owner who has many friends with the same job as he does. I am not trying to portray all black and Hispanic people as shoplifters. I am trying to explain that there are reasons why some owners would have frustrations toward this community. Dong Hwan Ku expresses his grief at being a business owner. " I know that many Korean store owners have been killed. I feel like this is a war zone and that my life has become like a battle. If I close my eyes or relax my vigilance for a second, I might lose my life. I always have to be on my toes" (East to America , p. 39).
Not all the liquor store owners behave in this manner because they do not live through the same amount of stress or danger that surrounds the other owners. A Korean immigrant who owns a liquor store in Van Nuys, explains, "I guess I make enough money to support my family, but it still requires a lot of hard work. I work many hours a week. I don't have much stress as the other owners in the Los Angeles area. I felt for them, when their stores were looted and burned down".
Because of the amount of stress some of these liquor store owners have in the Los Angeles area, they can place themselves in serious trouble with the law. An article from the Los Angeles Times, describes how a store owner, Jo Won King, shot a high school cheerleader after her friends allegedly tried to steal a can of beer, a tragic incident. The store surveillance camera showed Mr. Kim confronting one of the boys, who handed the owner a can of beer. After that, the boy held his jacket open for Kim to inspect, to show that he had taken nothing else. Then the owner followed the three boys out of the store with a gun and fired three shots into the car, killing the girl. Mrs. Kim, the wife, explains in the article, "that her husband had suffered tremendous pressure because of her mental illness and the constant problems with shoplifters." "My husband was under so much stress that I think he just snapped for a moment," she sadly says (Los Angeles Times 23 Nov. 1996 : 3).
We can also remember another tragic incident of the Latasha Harlins case. She was the 15 year- old girl who was shot by a store owner over a bottle of juice. We will never know for sure if the owner shot the girl just because she was black. If that was the case, she must of been out of her mind. If she was thinking clearly she would have been aware of what the serious consequences were, such as going to jail.
In both cases, the two owners had no right to shoot the girls, unless it was out of self-defense. But when you look at the other side or from their point of view, it is understandable why these owners probably shot them out of anger or fear. "These owners are scared, so they have to turn to a gun for protection. When they are not thinking clearly, that is when they don't know when to pull the trigger," states an anonymous 24 year- old son of a liquor store owner. I shuddered as he told me this. The fact that some owners turn to a gun for a protection, is just a horrible thought.
These Korean immigrants who decide to own liquor stores, think of only supporting their families financially. They don't own these stores just so some minority groups could envy or despise them. I have heard comments from other black people, that the Koreans drive expensive cars because they use the black community to earn their money. I was greatly angered by these ridiculous comments. Many Koreans work very hard at arriving to where they are today. They do not usually sit back picking on other races just because they do not have certain kind of luxuries. Tony Kim, a 1.5 generation Korean and a 26 year- old student studying law, comments, "The lower class people think the Koreans are being supported by the government. They also think that we sit back and wait for the money to pour in. There are Koreans who are just hard workers, who are naturally rich, and who have saved money. Also , underneath all the anger toward the Korean merchant owners, hides a lot of envy, the need to point fingers at people for what they're going through. For example, how KKK blames the minorities for the economy".
Believe it or not, Korean immigrants do come here with hardly any money and they do deal with discrimination. If these Korean people, who are minorities, are able to succeed or at least have a business, it is practically possible for other minorities. All it takes is hard work and determination, in which the Korean culture values. If it is possible for Johnny Cochran , who came from a poor family, to become a successful lawyer, then it is possible for anyone in his race to be one also.
"I remember my first day in America, I was excited because I was in a new country and I heard many good things about America. I was walking down a street in Koreatown by myself just minding my own business. All of a sudden a Hispanic girl who was bigger than me punched me in the face. I couldn't speak any English or even understand the language. The girl was just yelling at me, and at the same time she was stretching her eyes. I clearly remember doing nothing wrong. I was just walking. ( she laughs) I didn't even notice her until she punched me. To this day, I still don't know why she did what she did, except that maybe I was Asian." This story was explained from Grace Lee, a 1.5 generation student from UC Riverside. Racism exists everywhere and many cannot escape it. Korean parent deal with it as much as their children. I remember my mom was watching over me at a park. I was using the slide and two other kids pushed me off. Luckily, I was not hurt, but my mom yelled at them hysterically in Korean. I never told my mom this, but I heard one of them say under her breath, "Shut-up chink." Every time I look back at that memory among with many other similar ones, I felt more sorry for my parents than myself . It was easier for me to handle racism because I quickly learned the English language and how the American culture worked. As for my parents, they were older, so learning English and the culture in which they barely knew, came slowly to them.
Many people I interviewed gave a similar answer to the question, "What are the most irritating stereotypes about Koreans, if any? 18 year- old and 2nd generation Rose Chang replied that many other minorities think that Koreans are mostly rich. "My family and I moved from Argentina to America hoping for a financially stable job. My parents opened a doughnut shop, but lost a lot of money. Just recently, they had to start over again by opening up an electronic shop. Before all that, my mom had to sew clothes for a clothing factory. Those kind of jobs were taken by many struggling working class families. My sisters had to sacrifice most of their teenage years to help my dad out."
Other answers to my question were that Korean people are not only liquor store owners. "There are also doctors, lawyers, and I can go on and on. says a slightly angry, 1st generation doctor. "I'm tired of people thinking we are only capable of being merchant owners and nothing else." The Korean community appears to have this need to prove themselves to other Koreans and the American society. They feel that too many stereotypes have been used on them.
There are some stereotypical comments I have come to accept. One of them is that all Korean students are smart. I use to be insulted by this comment when I was younger. I recall this one situation with another student who made that same comment toward me. I confidently replied back to him, "I'm not smart, I can be dumb! I don't even study! See look at my test! A C!". As stupid as it may have sounded, I thought I was making a statement. I needed to prove myself to him. I was always bothered by that comment because it was so redundantly used and, it somehow turned into an insult. Also, being too smart associated with being a nerd. Now if someone from the other race, is to say that same comment to me, I would still reply "no", but I would not take it as an insult. At least we are not considered dumb and crazy people.
Not only are Koreans stereotyped and discriminated by other races, but they also use them against each other. Disappointing as it sounds, it occurs among the different classes and generations. One person I interviewed had a particulary interesting story because I had little knowledge of how marriages work in Korean customs. Her family is considered an upper class family. She and her husband are 1st generation immigrants and have two sons and a daughter who is the oldest of the three. She was telling me this story in Korean. It was later translated to me in English. She told a story of how she did not approve of her daughter marrying a man who had no father. This meant that he was not rich. She goes on by saying, "In many Korean families, the children are married according to status. It's unlikely for a poor person to marry a rich one, it's possible, but unlikely. When my daughter wanted to marry a man from a different background, I was not happy. I had many worries of how my daughter would be able to survive with a man whose family didn't have enough money. I went to a Korean fortune teller, which is common for Korean people to do, and I was told that their life together would be prosperous and rich. He was going to be an important man. I was relieved to hear this. They married last year." It is awkward ,but not suprising, to hear that people from the same race can discriminate against each other when it comes to status and background. It is not suprising for the American culture, because it is the same. American people marrying according to financial status can be found in sociology books. The difference is that the American idea of a marriage is more liberal and less conservative then the Koreans.
Also, the parents have their children go to Korea to find their future bride or groom. The children go through many dates which parents have set up for them. These dates are usually the parent's idea of the perfect mate. They do not want the children making the wrong choice of choosing a mate from a poor background. That is not the only quality they look for, but it appears to be the most important one.
Many Korean Americans may disagree with this custom. They believe that they should have a choice of choosing someone to marry. "I think it's stupid for parents to decide who we should marry. They don't think like us, they don't know who's your type. It's like saying we don't have a mind of our own," says Sarah Yi , a 2nd generation UCLA Student. "If I decide to marry a poor person who I know would be good to me and had a promising future, they shouldn't interfere, unless they were obvious perverts or losers." A different answer was made from Richard Kwon, a 1.5 generation, Berkely student, who says, "I agree with how the background becomes important when marriage is in the subject. What if I suddenly have financial problems? I would hope that my wife's family can help out. Anyways, it would be embarrassing to marry someone from a really low status background." It is interesting to know that the 2nd generation student was less conservative than the 1st and 1.5 gen. Koreans. The fact that the 2nd gen. student is more accustomed to the American ways helped shape her views on the idea of marriage.
Koreans also discriminate among themselves according to age. The younger male is supposed to call the older male hyung (older brother), and older female (older sister), which is noona. The younger female calls the older male, oe-ppa (older brother) and the older female, uhn-nee (older sister). The older ones call the younger person by their actual name. This is suppose to be some form of respect toward the older ones. Some Korean tend to misuse this custom by making a slightly younger (by 4 months or even a year younger) person call them older brother or sister. I feel that they should be at least five years older and deserve to be respected. I remember this girl , Cindy who was only seventeen years old, made Steve, a sixteen year old, call her noona. I was like " oh brother, who does she think she is?" It sort of gives people this power trip. I even feel ridiculous calling some people oe-ppa when I think they are not worth being respected.
Other people may be suprised to hear that many differences lie between the first gen. And second gen. Koreans. The 1.5 generation Koreans are mostly caught in the middle. The fact that we are all Korean does not mean that we all understand each other . Depending what culture and language we grow comfortably with, some of us can have culture clashes with other Korean generations. The 1st generation came to America with Korean views , a Korean language, and a Korean culture. The 1.5 generation, usually know both languages, Korean and English, with varying fluent abilities in each of them. They are also aware of both cultures. The second generation are surrounded by the American culture, and the language on a constant basis. Most are more fluent in the English language, but not as fluent in the Korean language.
Korean immigrants were complaining that the younger generation were not helping or correctly portraying the Korean in the community, especially after the 1992 riots. The media was exploiting the Korean merchants, which caused their bitterness toward the community. "They feel isolated not only from the mainstream by language and culture, but also from the Korean American community, whose spokespeople are mostly young, English-speaking proffessionals", states Connie Kang, a Los Angeles Times staff writer.(L.A. Times 29 April 1996). The riot victims felt that the government had no support for them at all, by the Asian community and by the younger Korean Americans, who were suppose to be the leaders representing the Korean community. The pressures after the riot forced the Korean immigrants to rely on the 1.5 and 2nd generations. Korean Americans. Many 1st gen. Koreans were hoping the younger gen. would at least stand up to the African community, whose leaders were trying to keep Koreans from rebuilding their damaged liquor stores. "It's near impossible for the two generations to work on thorny issues when they don't even have a common lagnuage," said Kapson Yim Lee, former publisher of the Korean Grocer magazine (L.A. Times 29 April 1996: 2). Without the language communication between the generations, their exact view was not carried out properly. "We can communicate without talking-it's telepathy," "But that Korean telepathy is missing in the American-born," said K.W. Lee. "Because they were raised in a culture in which everything has to be explained and verbalized." (L.A. Times 4/29/94). Obviously, the Korean community should find public leaders who are able to correctly express our concerns and represent the community as a whole.
These type of examples are also common in more personal matters, such as the family. Most of my life I have leaned more to the American culture, then the Korean culture. My Korean speaking skills is the same as of a 2 or 3 year old just beginning to learn the language. I could not use what I knew to communicate with my parents. I have had many arguments with my mom mainly because of the common communication misunderstandings. She would talk to me in Korean and I would talk to her in English. I would mistake her for saying something insulting, but when really she was saying something completely different. Or if I had to explain to her why my teacher did not give homework that day, I find myself repeating myself at least five times. Each time, I would raise my voice out of frustration and anger. 2nd generation , Azalea Lee and her 1st generation mother share this similar experience. Azalea ia also a Korean American, who cannot speak the language , except a few basic words. Her mother told me she knows enough English to get by, but not enough to hold a full conversation with her daughter. She tells me in Korean, " I wish she knew the Korean language, sometimes I can't seem to get my point across and I feel lie she feels the same when she's talking to me. Sometimes I give up and say forget it". Then her daughter immediately replies, "Mom, I tell you loud and clear what I'm saying. I say it in the most easiest way possible! I just feel like you're not listening.". Later she tells me , "Yeah, it is the communication problem. Because we have a hard time understanding each other, it just causes us not to care, at least for me, what we say.
Other communication misunderstandings occur outside the families also. Korean immigrants can face problems of not being able to speak or comprehend the English language as well as the would like to. One related example I can recall, and what my father had told me was when he opened up a rib restaurant in the valley. It was risky to run an American business such as this, because he was man with Korean values, and not enough awareness of the American culture. He needed the American social skills, if he was able to understand the need's of how American customers think. The restaurant was not making as much money as the previous owner, Peter Holtz, had made it sound. The old owner who supposedly sold him the restaurant, took advantage of my father's few skills in understanding the English language. He had my father believe that he was going to actually own the restaurant. Later, a worker, who had worked with Peter , informed me that my dad was shown fake receipts, to show how good the sales were each day. Also he was never planning to sell the restaurant to my father. Instead, Peter told my father that he would eventually take his name off the lease, so my father could be the official owner. My father could not fully understand the agreement and also could not ask questions he neede to ask. Peter's real intention was to have my father rent the restaurant each month. My father ended up spending a little over a half a million, when all that time he thought it was his. After eleven years of running the restaurant, my father finally gave up due to slow business and because of the thousands of dollars of taxes he owed.
There were times, I wished I lived in an American family because they were more leniant. That was the impression I got when I saw my white friend's families. I was ashamed of being Korean. Other 2nd generation Koreans share this similar experience. Connie Kim had mainly white friends, while she was growing up. Because of this, she had also wished she was white. She stayed away from the other Koreans. She was more accustomed to the American culture. Other Korean Americans have told me that it was difficult living with their Korean born parents. In the American culture, people tend to be more relaxed and open-minded. In the Korean culture, rules are more strict and education becomes an important factor in their families. Tony Kim's family was expected to get straight A's in school. B's were definitely not good enough. "The pressure was too much and there was tension. I ran away because of that reason. I rebelled most of the time. By the time I attended USC, I took advantage of the freedom. I started partying too much, which caused me not to graduate from SC. I went to 2 other universities when I finally decided to study law at Loyola University. If I had listened to my parents, I would probably have a career by now."
A good education is very important in the Korean society. The high school life is based on trying to make good enough grades and SAT scores so one can be accepted at their choice of choosing almost any University. This way of thinking was brought from the Korean culture in Korea. In high school, they are required to study a great deal, way more than how the Korean students usually study in America. Their important goal is to also be accepted in a good universitiy. Trying to make the best possible grades is very important because they are only allowed to apply to one university and must have a declared major by their freshman year. In America, students (usually 1.5 and 2nd gen. Koreans) are allowed to apply to as many colleges as they wish and can declare a major by their junior year. The schooling in Korea, is also very expensive and there is no such thing as financial aid. That is why many parents bring or send their children to America because of the easier education.
In the Korean culture, one of the most important duties of a mother is directing her children's values. Korean parents constantly push their kids to be the best in class. The pressure to excel among other competing students can be a major strain on them. In America, children do not go through as much pressure as the students in Korea, but they are still expected to be the best one in their class.
I was told that there were newspaper ads of one tutoring school , with braches in Orange County and Los Angeles, saying "Make your hardships in America worthwhile through your children's success. Invest in your children's education." It is not suprising to see why this would appeal to many Korean parents. These type of tutoring schools are common for Korean students to attend to when their parents want them to improve in a certain subject or just so they could be the number one in their class. Families spend thousands of dollars for tutors and SAT classes. The children begin as early as age 4.
I happen to work at one of these programs. My job is to make sure they get help in their homework assignments and get everything correct. After that, I give them extra work from workbooks they purchased from the institute. That way, they can keep practicing their English and math problems. There are times, I teach higher level materials. I have parents who tell me to make sure they study enough for them to get an A on their tests. I also take the pressure of making sure they accomplish this. If they get anything lower than an A, I receive complaints about my performance as a teacher.
Usually Korean children who attend public schools, also start studying for the SSAT (isn't that only required for students who want to be accepted to private schools?) The beginning of my junior high school year, my mom placed me in this institute called the "Academy of Achievement". Academy of Achievement was very popular among the Korean families. It is located in the valley , and students from as far as Orange County go there. Extra tutoring was available, but this place specialized in students preparing for the SAT. I was forced to study over 50 words and their definitions every two days. If I complained about having too much work to do (I also had homework assignments from my school), I always had a nagging mom on my case. If I could not achieve this, the teacher at the inst., would tell my mom that I forgot the definition of 10 words. Then I would have to do 100 push-ups and come home to a disappointed mother. I cried almost everyday because I could not handle the strain of trying to live up to my mom's expectations. She had good intentions for me, but I kept thinking that we were not living in Korea , but America, where things were supposedly easier even for the students.
In another Los Angeles Times article , about immigrant parents whose dreams were to send their children off to Harvard, explains how determined these parents are when it comes to an education. "A Harvard degree may be coveted by millions the world over, but its lure seems especially irresistible to many Korean parents. They believe the school is the key that opens the door to success" (L.A. Times 25 Sept. 1996: 6). In America, many Korean immigrants see a Harvard degree, not only as a foundation for their children's future, but also increases the status of the family. Koreans like to compete with other Korean families by showing off their children's success. I remember this one mother that always boasted how her daughter was practically the smartest student in her classes. The mother works at the Korea Times, so she would even stick an article in the newspaper about her daughter's success. Her daughter would even be embarrassed by this.
The parent's effort for their children to have the best education possible does not always succeed, as you can see in Tony Kim's situation, as earlier mentioned. Lisa Kim did not go to UC Berkely or UCLA, but as her parents say it, only UC Riverside. All her life she lived in boarding schools, but she was not able to handle the pressure from her parents. As for me, I literally could not stand how my mom expected me to be the best. I think if we had enough money, she would have continued to forced me to take all these extra tutoring classes all the way to my high school years. Who knows, maybe I would have ended up at UCLA or Berkely!
I find myself sometimes taking after some of my parent's qualities. I guess I am not entirely Americanized as other Koreans claim me to be. I may not be able to form a Korean sentence together, but I am certainly proud that I am a Korean and proud of where I come from , as well as my parent's background. Racism, financial struggles, and pressures of finding a place in the American society is always going to be difficult to deal with. I look at this as a learning experience. I try to be optimistic about the future for Koreans. I will always be thankful for my parent's decision in coming here. I know that as a 2nd generation Korean, along with other 1.5 and 2nd gen. Koreans,opportunities will be better for us in the future. We well not suffer as our parents did. Because we can speak the language and understand the culture better, we are also better at handling relationships with other races. Our parents did this for us, despite their sufferings. Through all the hard work and sacrifices, Korean immigrants have opened doors for many younger generations. Furthermore, we will continue to hope for more Koreans to be involved in politics, so they could represent us and have our voices heard to the rest of the Los Angeles community. All my previous experiences has led to who I am today , that I am proud to be Korean and that I will always greatly appreciate my loving parents. Hopefully, that goes the same for the other younger Korean generations.
Because many other races are not aware of the Korean community and the problems we face as monority group, speculations or stereotypes are easliy built around us. Also, other Koreans who are 1.5-2nd generations, sometimes or intentionally forget where they come from and also rarely appreciate their parents' effort in making a better life for the family. Many of my personal experiences along with others whom I have interviewed with, will hopefully bring at least a little more understanding about the Korean
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Beker, Maki and Abigail Goldaman, "Grocer Pleads Not Guilty in Slaying". November 26.1996. Los Angeles: Times Mirror Company, Los Angeles Times.
Hwangbo, Kay, "Human Dramas in their Own Voices; Books. 'East to America' Tells the stories of 38 Korean Americans and Helps Dispel the Stereotypes that Plague Them". April 29, 1996., Los Angeles: Times Mirror Company, Los Angeles Times.
Kang, Connie, "Korean Americans Dream of Crimson; The Cure of Haravard is Irresistible to many Parent. Some go to Great Lengths to Prepare their Children For What They See As An Automatic Key To Success". September 25, 1996. Los Angeles: Times Mirror Company, Los Angeles Times.
Kang, Connie, "Riots' Effects Are Still Smoldering In Koreatown; Aftermath: Merchants Who Lost Stores Say They Are A Forgotten People. Schism With Younger Generation Grows." April 29, 1996. Los Angeles: Times Mirror Company, Los Angeles Times.
Kim, Elaine H. And Eui-Young Yu. East To America: Korean-American life stories. 1996. New York: The New Press.